Sometimes in the still of the night is when my mind comes alive the most. Is like the stars in the sky become  ideas in my head.

Since I was a little kid it has been like this. I used to have fights with my parents while trying to explain that I was studying for a test at midnight, for I had better chances to remember the math equations than if I were doing that on the light of the day. Weird? Maybe, go figure. I cannot help being like this.

Maybe this is the reason I rarely have a good night’s sleep. My mind is bubbling with info. While most are rebooting their bodies for another day under the sun, I find myself overthinking about a myriad of subjects…

The things I wish I have done today and also in April 2005. For some reason I tend to remember things from way over the past and how I should have acted or done them accordingly.

Am I stuck in my past? Not really, is more like a butterfly effect kind of mind game. Things come and go without actually asking permission to do so. I think about the future too. How it will go on provided I do or do not certain things. Still on the butterfly way.  Don’t get me wrong, I do not over plan. That tends to lead to a lot of disappointment. I mean, a lot a lot.

Most of times, you need to have an outline of the things you want to do and then play it around with the things that life throws at you. It is a path that leads to less dark corners in your mind and keeps your heart inside your chest.

My stupid brain keeps talking. And talking. How can one brain have this much to chat at such late hour? I am way over my younger years already and yet, this is one constant thing, something that remains unchanged. Every single night of my life, regardless where I am, I will have the same tsunami of thoughts invading my head.

I also dream as much as I think. More than I should, perhaps. To dream is to rehearse for the life you aim having one day. But hold on, doesn’t this go against the lack of planning? Isn’t to dream just an excuse to plan something in disguise? Well, could be. But in a world that never ceases to disappoint you so much, where there are so many chances of your life taking you on a different direction of your plans, isn’t dreaming and thinking the way to keep you sane? Where you can see what you were, are and will be? Like I said, a practice round for another day? 

Sometimes your mind, your thoughts and your dreams are all you’ve got. They are the fuel that keeps you alive day in and day out. Without them, what is it of us humans? I don’t wanna think about it because the day I stop thinking and dreaming when the night comes, is because I am long gone.